The Excellence Paradox: Why Top Performers Are Their Toughest Critics
How to avoid anxiety, burnout and Imposter Syndrome whilst striving for success.
I’ve noticed a pattern - high-performers are harder on themselves than their less successful counterparts. It’s like a reverse Dunning-Kruger effect for self-criticism, let’s call it the "Excellence Paradox".
Understanding the Excellence Paradox
The Dunning-Kruger effect posits that individuals with lower ability at a task overestimate their ability, while those with higher ability underestimate it. I’m a huge fan and active practitioner of the Dunning-Kruger effect! Based on my level of expertise (which is low) I _should_ be very self-critical, but thanks to DK and my chronic over-confidence and lack of humility I'm good! I can feel all of you out there who know me slowly nodding right now.
The Excellence Paradox is a cousin to this concept but focuses on self-criticism. High performers tend to scrutinize their work, decisions and progress much more harshly than those who perform at lower levels. I’m surrounded by high-performers (MH, SY, BW I’m looking at y’all) and I have noticed they routinely kick themselves over silly stuff. Why is that?
Why does this happen? High performers are not just working; they're constantly striving for mastery. They set loftier goals, and with each achievement, the bar rises. I guess this self-critique, while painful, is also a driving force behind their success.
The 98% paradox
When you got 98% on the test, did you bask in the glory of a great score? Or did you kick yourself for losing that 2% somewhere? In my case, it was my family who pushed for the missing 2% and now as an adult, I’m left with a hard-wired inability to meet my own expectations. This isn’t necessarily a bad place to be but it can lead to burnout, anxiety, and never feeling quite "enough." It’s also in my case closely tied to Imposter Syndrome. The good news is I have a great therapist and he’s going to retire comfortably based on the amount of work I need. ;)
The Feedback Loop
Everything moves in cycles and much of life is governed by feedback loops. We’re in a perpetual state of self-assessment, trying, testing, failing, thinking about it, and then iterating again. Introspection is a Super Power but it can turn toxic without some objectivity. This is where feedback from the outside world comes in; seeking out 3rd party feedback can give you some much-needed perspective.
Give yourself the grace to acknowledge the feedback, take a break, and start fresh. They say feedback is a gift, and it might be the one that saves you from being overly self-critical…or madness.
Mitigating the Negative Effects
So, how do we harness the power of self-criticism without letting it spiral into self-destructive behavior?
Celebrate Wins: High performers often gloss over their successes, rushing to the next challenge. Taking time to celebrate victories, no matter how small, can boost morale and provide a sense of accomplishment.
Understanding Limits: Recognize that there's a limit to what you can achieve at a given time. Accepting that perfection is unattainable and that mistakes are part of growth can reduce the pressure we put on ourselves.
Get some Perspective: Look to your mentors - how have others handled similar situations? How does your performance stack up against others? Maybe this can temper expectations down to a more reasonable level.
A Note about the Interview process:
I’ve spoken about how I run interviews in the past and this notion of Introspection and self-study/criticism is definitely something I look for in candidates. Do they move quickly past their successes and obsess over their failures? Maybe not the healthiest thing but it’s another data point and an indicator that a person is on a path of self-learning instead of being happy with the status quo. Those folks tend to do well when given the right support and direction.
Conclusion
How has being self-critical affected your career? or the career of those around you? Drop a comment, share your story, and let's navigate the paradox together.
The Excellence Paradox is a testament to the complex nature of success. The very traits that propel high performers to the top can also be their greatest challenge. By understanding and managing this paradox, we can strive for excellence without sacrificing our well-being.
Let's rewrite the narrative around success, making room for self-compassion. Accept the 98% with grace and rise above the loss of the 2%.
We can navigate our careers with both ambition and humility, driving towards excellence while maintaining our mental and emotional well-being. After all, the journey is as important as the destination.